CLOSER THAN I THOUGHT!

“Dear friends, If we don’t feel guilty we can come to God with bold confidence.
And we will receive from Him whatever we ask because we obey Him and do the things that please Him”. 1 John 3:21 NLT 

Flipping through the pages of my old dusty book
I see a lot of highlighted sentences
the more I look through this book, the more It reminds me of the good old days
Why do I feel every word in this book speaks my story?
I guess its high time I dropped this book
It’s full of my top secrets yet full of hopes and unfolding plans
It’s full of the TRUTH
I can’t just admit, I’m far from hearing the truth right now.

You can’t blame me,
I have wandered off, I’m like a runaway child
Fear of getting scolded for my wrongs
has left me on the streets  for days
I have gone too far to be found
Why do I feel like every word in this book
is like a GPS leading me back home?
It leads me step by step closer
It’s showing me the right path to tread on
I can’t bear this guilt anymore.

Look, you won’t  understand me
I didn’t listen to my father
What He told me not to do, I did
When He told me to stay, I vanished
Put yourself in my shoes, I feel so ashamed
I can’t look into His face anymore
The memories we had together
just keeps me smiling all day.

Do you know I was His favorite?
I used to blast in all the foreign languages He taught me
I used to talk to him anytime I want
I could brag about him to friends and anyone ,anytime, anywhere
I could go without food for days and still be renewed by His strength
Before I call for things I got them
I command all things to work for me through His backing
Until……I fell!

No! I just can’t face Him anymore
I’m in need but how do I ask Him
without a prick of conscience
I fear I won’t receive
Songs of His praise keeps crossing  my mind
I dare not sing aloud, it reminds me of His love
I would just keep quiet, I have no right
‘cos…..I fell, I fell short!

I crawl in the cold outside every night
In search of a shelter just to lay my head
In the cold each night I cry my eyes out
“I can’t continue this way”
“How long will I continue to suffer”
“I need my father back, I need my friend back”
But then, I have gone far, I am lost!
It’s just too late to return, I lost my confidence
I fell short, I have fallen short of His glory!

Father, I know how you feel
I understand you must be so angry with me
You loved me, You trusted me but I still disappointed you
I still don’t understand how you located me
I am far away from home but you found me
You visit me everyday but I stood you up
I can’t see you face to face, I don’t deserve it
can I just be allowed to peep through the window of your house?
I can’t live there anymore.

I will remain here, I can’t get over this guilt
Just then, you held my hands
and told me :
“I will never leave you
swallow your pride and and ask for mercy
I will forgive your rebellions”
You fell just once, you should rise
Even if if you fall 7 times, you can rise again”

Now I know you were behind the letters
of this old dusty book all the while.
Maybe you never even left me after all
Why was I leaving in denial
Why was I living in ignorance?
Anyways, It feels so good to be back in the arms of Daddy
It feels so good to be back home!

This is for everyone feeling far away from God at the moment, it’s never too late to go back to Him and ask for forgiveness, don’t let the devil deceive you into thinking you can never return to God, the more you dwell on the guilt of your sin or disobedience to God the farther you get from God.
Don’t let the condemnation of your heart cut your confidence short. Do the things that are pleasing in God’s sight and walk tall in the kingdom of God.

“For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises up again; but the wicked are overthrown by calamity.” Proverbs 24:16 



                                                   ___________Oyinkan_God’streasure_______________


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